October 17, 2013

Oso, aka Mr. Peabody

Taiko, aka The Leg Lifter

YoYoMa, aka Master GoGo

White Dog and Puff sat with me as Nuka spiraled her way toward us and then crashed into Puff's side. It was just us girls. "Boys are so gross," White Dog started the conversation. "I mean, really disgusting sometimes." "You don't know the half of it," Puff counselled, having once been a puppy mill breeder. They stopped to listen to the whining boys: YoYoMa, Oso and Taiko, banished to the yard for their "boyness."

"Maybe we shouldn't tell dad. He might never want to go in there again. Or open the door to feed us." "Remember, he's a BOY, too!" I had to defend Steve. I have been with him for a very long time and can honestly attest that not since his frat days in the dawn of time has he been guilty of anything like the crime at hand.

After working all afternoon in the office, we girls went out to the kitchen to replenish our drink glasses only to discover that the boys had been busy, too. Apparently we were not invited to the First Annual White Dog Army Pissing Contest that was held in the kitchen.

Some one had decided to "mark" the refrigerator door. And another some one (at least we hope it was more than one pup based on the amounts of liquid) left a wading pool at the security gate to the basement. There was a third spot, mmmm THREE WDA boys and three marks, on the door frame.

"TAIKO, YOYO, OSO, COME!!! RIGHT NOW!!!" was my command. The girls moved into the living room a respectful distance away to watch the fireworks. I had to call again, adding "I MEAN IT! NOW!" before the three slunk to the edge of the living room carpet. Not one would make eye contact. Every one did perfect sit at attentions and weakly tried a tail wag.

"Can any boy guess why momma is upset?" I asked shaking my head at White Dog who was dying to give an answer. Heads swung in every direction studying all of the tiny details of of our wall and artwork, but their vision dropped downward when they turned to my voice.

Not a single one of them has EVER marked in the house. Not when Yo and Quinn were the only boys; not when Oso joined us; not until now.

"This is very disrespectful behavior," I continued, "and it is NOT NICE!" Those are powerful words in our house and prompted a movement to come closer to make amends. WD growled a correction of her own. "This is huge cleanup and when Michael gets home, he is going to have to redo the parts that are hard for me. He is not going to be happy at all."

"Outside, all three of you. Play your games of macho might out there. And you must stay out until I am done cleaning up...and then I'll think about letting you in." With that all three were shown the door.

Cleanup was a pain and took a long time because of my slow pace. The girls tried to help but found they aggravated me less if they didn't walk through things or sniff. I would work a while then rest; and at those times they offered their heads for gentle pats and reminded me that they were "the good kids."

When things were reasonably cleaned, as well as I could manage, I looked out of the patio door. Lying arrayed on the deck looking forlorn and staring at the dog door, were the Bad Boys. White Dog jumped up on the bed. "Make them stay out until Dad comes home."

"No Sweet One, as much as they might deserve punishment, it is dad's late night. Besides look at them, when they come in they will be filled with love and contrition." As I lifted the flap and gave the come in signal I am sure I heard her call me a Sucker.