May 6, 2014

White Dog, when I am upset or struggling, is always first there at my side to lay her head on my shoulder and to offer her ears to listen. She is interactive and wants to offer advice, suggestions, analysis that comes from love but often is more than I need at the moment...or perhaps she comes before I am ready for the work of sorting and problem solving. She is astute and objective and wastes little time before tackling the world head-on. The Little White Dog of My Heart is sometimes too much like me.

More and more of late, Puff, the once nearly feral girl who would not even make eye contact with me, comes to me with her own special gesture of solace. My senior lady says nothing but simply lies at my feet. She does not ask for recognition nor does she offer an opinion. After a few minutes of side-by-side companionship I feel her slightly shift as she places her paw on top of my foot. A movement, no words, no deep looks...just the instant comfort of her paw's weight and warmth. And it is a deliberate act, of that I am certain. Perhaps because of her age and hard life experiences she knows the restorative value of simple stillness.

The past few weeks have had their moments of confusion and frustration. Adjusting to changes in Oso's health and needs has required much...as has Michael's end of school and his uncertainty about what is next...Steve's increasing school demands as he approaches his last six months of the program and changes in his teaching schedule have also shaken our world. The White Dogs are troupers but even they have been rattled by the swirl of routines upset and they are needy. Spring and its adventure calls; but no one is strapping on harnesses. In our family, I am the idea starter, the one that brings the seeds of hope and structure that we can together build into the cooperation, support and direction needed to get through any challenge.

Each of the White Dogs fills my heart with a special gift that strengthens and enriches me. Without YoYoMa's ability to make me laugh I would lose perspective too often and sink into tears. Taiko's calm trust as he lays his head into my palm and gazes with total confidence into my eyes restores my own reeling lack of trust in myself. Sweet Bella is my Audrey Hepburn...charming and delightfully childlike; with her it is impossible to not see past the grey clouds and be amazed at the wonder of the world. Even Oso in all of his own confusion fearlessly, without question, gives himself over to me without hesitation or doubt. Little does he know how much of this all I am making up as I go. And White Dog simply shares every ache and twist of my soul...

but these days, it is the little old backyard breeder from Kansas who anchors me with her tiny fox like paw-- holding me and keeping me from spinning too far out of control.

I am blessed.


Sagira said...

You are very blessed to have such a great crew caring for you and you for them. I am grateful to know you, you're such an amazing and kind person.

Brian said...

No doubt the love warms your heart.

Tweedles -- that's me said...

It no fun to spin out of control,, thank goodness for that little paw.

meowmeowmans said...

Beautiful post, Sue. In times of uncertainty, love is always a welcome harbor.

STELLA and RORY from Down Under said...

Oh White Dog Army. You sure know how to look after your mum (and dad and Michael). We've said it before, but you show what family is all about. Caring, sharing and helping in good times and bad. Have a grreat weekend mates. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory