9.22.2018

September 21, 2018

White Dog worries when any member of the White Dog Army is having an issue and Nilla's declining cognition is a hard one to accept. WD knows that Nilla receives the best of care and all of the best supplements, assistance, and encouragement that there is. But she also has witnessed the disease take its toll on other members of the WDA so she knows that there is no "magic" cure. We can slow the progress but old age dementia is a disease of stable times and slippery slopes.

Nilla this week has experienced a period of sliding. For nights she went almost entirely without sleep as she paced in the kitchen. Neither melatonin nor the calming herbs eased her into rest. I could hear her throughout the night, her tags jingling as she moved about inside the gated room.

Weaning her off of the antibiotics from her surgery left her system unsettled and unpredictable. Her inability to know she had to go left her shamed even though we reassured it was not her fault. Nilla was timid and stressed that she was a "bad" girl. The first days of post-op we also had the challenge of cleanup without wetting sutures.

We have found that changes in weather and season affect her confusion; this has been a weather week that was all over the board. Fortunately, she is not fearful but the disorientation leaves her nervous.

In her nighttime wakefulness and now even into the day, Nilla has begun ignoring her mattress, critical for old bones getting proper support and rest. She has all week, chosen to sleep on the bare floors and consequently struggles to rise when her joints get stiff. Even temptations of different sleep surfaces have been rejected. I hope this is just temporary.

White Dog told me HER clue to Nilla's most recent challenges was that Nilla actually wanted to just rest in my arms with her head against my heart. "You know, momma, Nilla is not a great cuddler. She likes a few minutes of attention but then she wants down. This week our senior lady has nestled gratefully into your arms and pressed against you...for long stretches at a time. Your security and heartbeat are grounding her."

Growing old is not easy, I tell both my girls. I point to my own aches and sometimes forgetfulness. White Dog laughs and kisses me as she reassures that I am as young and vibrant as ever. Nilla, well Nilla leans into me and quietly whispers, "I understand momma, I do."


2 comments:

Random Felines said...

Getting old isn't for the weak....purrs to you Nilla

Brian's Home Blog said...

Poor sweet Nilla, we all send love and hugs to her, and to you too.