December 8, 2017

White Dog said, "You know Bailey spent the night sleeping in the living room, waiting for YoYoMa?" She normally sleeps in the bedroom. I know that because I went out to check a couple of times myself.

When we turned the lights off last night to end the horrible surrealistic day, I think we all hoped to discover Yo snoring softly on the fireplace tiles this morning; that Yo's sudden loss was somehow a communal bad dream.

Today counting breakfast bowls reminded us. Handing out meds reminded us. Before Steve left trips to the yard and post breakfast naps in usual spots reminded us. treat time reminded us. Everything reminded us.

"And I wasn't even even fully accepting of Benson's death yet," Steve confessed as he laid his head on my shoulder. "Our routine was so changed when he left. We still have not refound our rhythm...and now we must change again with our new loss. Seems we suddenly have so much empty time."

The blog after sharing something like YoYoMa's death is almost impossible to put together. There are really no words to be added but yet it is too soon for My Boy to become a forgotten footnote and to remove his photo from the header. But life does go on, especially for the rest of the world. I could simply not post, but I am compelled. The promise I made to White Dog when we started this project nearly 5000 posts ago was that if we were going to start that we would be committed to writing every day and... with the exception of being in the hospital once...we have kept that promise. As a result of that promise, you have had to endure the journey, the successes, the failures, the incredible joy, the pain...and the emptiness with us.

White Dog knows we will grieve and have lost a part of ourselves but she is wise enough to share a conversation she had with YoYoMa when he was first diagnosed with IMHA months ago.

"He knew this was a monster disease and that it would one day drain him of the ability to fight on. Yo asked us to walk with him as far as we could and to understand that he was not quitting. He knew momma, that you would be shattered and he asked me to make sure we all took care of you.

"He wanted a celebration that captured the feasting and joy of what the White Dog Army is at it heart. YoYoMa wanted to be remembered with smiles and laughter. Can we do that, momma? I know it will be hard."

"But we have had such a tremendous outpouring from all of our heart family, friends, and WDA followers. So many took the time to paw kind thoughts and share our pain. Maybe we can ask them to help."

I thought about what my amazing Little White Dog had to say. And I know Yo would truly want a sendoff filled with love and laughs. So can you help?

Saturday's post will be a photo journey of My Boy's life. You know how he loved silly jokes and was the WDA comic. We ask that you leave as a comment the silliest joke you can find...a joke, a pun, a funny that my boy will steal for his Rainbow Bridge routine and will giggle about for hours.

And Saturday night, the WDA will gather over YoYoMa's favorite foods and carrot cake to read your jokes, to listen to cello music from his favorite performer, and remember that love is forever.

Thank you for helping us begin this very difficult transition.